i think i scared a bird with my dick
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
