Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
