well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize