Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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