Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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