I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
