And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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