Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
