There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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