just tell him i said nine months
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
