Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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