Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I will be naked everywhere
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize