dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
