thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
