oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
