a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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