I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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