She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She's not a foreskin expert like you
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm bleeding and have questions
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
