A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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