Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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