Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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