Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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