I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Randomize