I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
