Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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