forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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