White coat. Heels.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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