yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
