u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize