he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
