Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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