Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
