I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
