What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
