just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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