How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
