i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
