Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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