I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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