to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
