weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
