their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
