you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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