she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
