We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
