why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
