i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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