Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
