is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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