Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
