Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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