I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
