come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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