sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
