WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize