How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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