Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
