I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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