Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
