I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
