I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
