YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
