There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it was like eating out sand paper
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
