STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
