he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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