its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
