i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
