whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
