You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
