Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
wow bdsm is so cute
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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