There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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