i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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